he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
