bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
