No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
So apparently I’m into choking now
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