Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
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