I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I would fuck him just for his dog
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
