i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
