if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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