nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i came on her dog
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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