I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
