i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize