He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
