I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
