Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
