I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
