Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
So vagazzling was a success
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
