The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize