my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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