I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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