I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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