I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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