It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
