what day is it and did you see me today?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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