i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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