Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize