she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
