Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
