can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
