living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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