Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
