I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
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you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
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He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
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