i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize