I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
