i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
