Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
