I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize