oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
My room smells like vodka and shame
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
