You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
