She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
