seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
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