Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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