Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
