U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Ketchup is God's man juice
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
