dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
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