What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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