It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
