Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
