Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
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She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
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He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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