I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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