Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
She's the barista slut.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
