I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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