turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize