Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
