Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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