do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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