just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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