We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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