No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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