Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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