glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
