My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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