god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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