its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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