It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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