Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
