JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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