Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
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At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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