I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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