my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize