things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
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