Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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